Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Christmas Charity


This isn't going to earn me any friends.

Was in the pub with Toni and Blondie (names have been changed to protect the innocent) last night and Blondie mentioned that for Christmas she was giving the money she should be spending on her family to charity instead....and that her family would get some sort of pat on the back card saying "well done, you're a present down this Christmas" or something from the charity.
Now, I'm all for charity...but not at the expense of presents!!!!

Christmas is partially about getting things from other people. That's why it's become such a wonderfully capitalist holiday. By all means people should give money to charity at Christmas, God knows I do, but you're also obliged to get gifts for nearest and dearest too.
Look, I'm sure little Umbumba wants to go to school or eat or live or something, I can understand that..but I'm sure she too would understand that I would like my clothes, books etc. A whole year goes by between Christmasses-not that Umbumba will live to see her first-and it's my favourite time of the year. If someone were to try and give the money they were going to spend on me to charity, I would chase the cash to the ends of the earth and wrench whatever it had been used to buy from the scrawny little hands of the poor bastards who got in my way.

Look, God says we have to give presents on Christmas. The Wise Men didn't arrive with patronising little cards from Concern, did they? Fuck no! Jesus would have kicked their asses.

Anyway, don't think ill of me for vocalising what you're all thinking deep down...

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