Thursday, November 17, 2005

Alcohol A-Z: R+S

R: Returning Home

So if you go to town, and God willing someday you might, you’re going to need some way of getting home at night.

You could:

Get the normal bus
Get a lift
Walk
Get a taxi
Get a nitelink

There are probably other methods too.

Now the normal bus is by far the cheapest, next to walking-which is free.. But the last one leaves by about 11:30 which is a little early if you’re out on a good night. Next up is a lift. Probably free and theoretically at any time you want. But the chances of getting a lift home from town at about midnight are slim to none and if they exist at all, will probably be courtesy of a parent. Which would not be the best car journey if you’ve had one too many to drink.

Taxis are the most convenient, going from door to door as they do. But they also cost a lot. And generally not worth it if you live along the nitelink line. Only really economically viable you are the first stop on the taxi route and can get out of paying your fair share of the final cost.

Leaving the Nitelink as the only other option. Cheap, frequent (on weekends) and quick enough if the driver’s in a hurry, these babies are a godsend if you live near a bus stop that it will be passing. The disadvantage to the nitelink is that it feels like it takes forever to get home, buses in motion are bad for drunks (they’re not called “vomit comets” for nothing) and now that some of the 31Ns take in most of the northside and go to Howth via the Ring of Kerry, it can take up to an hour to actually get from town.

But at a fifth the price of a taxi, it can be really really worth it.
Though I suppose you could jog it. I’m surprised Robin hasn’t yet.

S: Spirits

I sort of covered this in my ranting about bitch drinks earlier.

Sprits are drinks with a considerably higher percentage of alcohol in them than beer. Like loads more. Average pint has maybe 4.5% alcohol by volume. Compare that to c.40% for vodka, c.50% for whiskeys and somewhere around 80% for proper absinthe.
So to say the stuff is deadly is an understatement.

The key is not to drink that much of it. A pint of vodka would kill you. Especially you. That’s why girls mix them with other drinks like Coke and orange juice to dilute them. That’s a smart move and lowers the percentage of alcohol in the overall drink from about 40% to maybe 8 or 9%.

Or you could just dink the spirits straight. That can be done by doing shots (a specified measure) or by walking around like a wino, with your hand clutching the bottleneck, taking sips every so often.
The first option is the better of the two.

In general, spirits are to be avoided. They’re small but mighty, like burly Chinese people. One of the reasons we leave spirits to girls is that most guys aren’t fucking stupid enough to make drinking them a habit.

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