Monday, August 15, 2005

Paramilitary Pigeons

This has gone far enough.

Dublin is being held hostage by bigoted flying rats who are defacing our monuments.

I was on O'Connell St. recently and imagine my suprise to see that the recently cleaned O' Connell and Parnell Monuments have been covered in graffiti.

Bullshit, I hear you say. Actually it's bird shit, but you were close.

Yes the pigeons have struck again. Poor Danny O'Connell, a man with two coats where a hat would do him better, has had his hair dyed white, agains this will, whereas Charlie Parnell up the other end is also sporting a new look atop his head. Now, with his arm outstretched, he looks like he's beseeching someone to clean it off!

Clearly the paramilitaries are behind it.

Unionist ones have defaced O'Connell and the Republicans are suspected of getting Parnell.

I propose an immediate decommisioning of the pigeon's bowels. I know that there would be opposition to this, as it would kill off (literally) the paramilitary pigeon movement but it needs to be done. Like the IRA have done up north with their arms caches, we could plug their backsides with concrete to prevent further atrocities. Not an ounce, not a gram of birdshit should be allowed in our fair city.

Also an independent monitoring committee comprised of sparrow hawks to basically take the pigeon out of irish politics. And apparently the Columbia 3 are accomplished birdwatchers...

If Unionist birds don't like the "Liberator", then they should keep their opinions and droppings to themselves. And if Republican ones want to crown the "Uncrowned King of Ireland", they should find more sanitary ways to do it!

Just my two cents on the matter.


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