Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Green Man, Yellow Man, Reflective Man

This is a wonderfully strange proposal from the National Safety Council (the one that brought us the pirouetting flying car that crashed into the idyllic back garden and took out the kid...)

Basically they're advocating mandatory reflective clothing, to be worn by all pedestrians and cyclists.

NSC Spokesman Brian Farrell says "Im sure it's something that could be introduced."

NSC Spokesman Brian Farrell is a tool, ladies and gentlemen.

Can you picture it now? Hundreds of thousands of Dubliners all wearing really fetching reflective clothing as we cram ourselves onto the narrow streets of the city.

We would look just wonderful, wouldn't we?

I bags the blue one btw.

Actually this got me thinking (I know, a rare event).

Distinctive clothing for different social groups.

A good idea, no?

So those from down the country could wear say.... a nice tweed coat, flat cap, scruffy trousers to short for them, bandy oul' shoes and the essential rope-for-a-belt.
Or GAA jersey. Always the GAA jersey.

The urban elderly would be decked out in long brown coat, hairnet, tweed skirt and brown tights, with comfortable (God awful) shoes. And don't forget the tartan trolley they pull along behing them erraticly, like an articulated lorry out of control.

The knackers......well burburry cap at 45 degree angle, Nike tracksuit top and bottom, trouser ends tucked into white socks and runners. Also the oblicatory ear-rings, nipple rings and...other piercings named after 19th century members of the Royal family. And Argos' best jewellry.
Oh and either the tricolour emblazoned on their chest or the Chinese word for freedom etched across their shoulder blades or down an arm or two.

D4 heads would have the dubes, cords, rugger jersey, at least one or two charity wristbands colour coded to match outfit. Cap at more respectible angle. And that fucking awful accent.

Now this seems to already generally be in existence. What we need now is merely to get is enshrined in legislation. I'm sure the National Safety Council's Brian Farrell could lobby for that. That is if I don't go drinking after a match and plough into him in his back garden (is that not the stupidest and most implausible ad on television?).

But what makes my plan better than the NSC's is that with mine, you can choose who you want to hit.


Blogger Robin said...

I think thats a great ad, the car flip one. best one out there. that and the samantha mumba one, except for the end bit where he goes "3 dead in this one, the drivers critical" or something like that in a headwrecking accent.

To be honest, I don't see a problem with people on dark roads with no pavements having to wear reflectives as manditory, you're stupid not to. Surely he dosn't mean to walk down your villiage you need them?

11:08 AM  
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1:49 PM  

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